Goodbye Little Mac
I couldn’t write this yesterday because it was just too overwhelming to do so. Everytime I start thinking about it, I’ll cry. But now I’m feeling a little better now, so let me tell you what happened.
Yesterday (Monday) morning, as I was setting up my iBook at work, Dan was mentioning that there was something wrong with the network, so we started checking URLs. I’d just completed my entry about the weekend, and wanted to write about the Bird Mart I went to on Sunday. Just before I started writing I glanced over at the screen of my iBook, looking at the list of new emails, and there, staring me right in the face, was three words - “URGENT Re: Mac” - Suddenly, the goings-on around me just muted, and I remember faintly that Jessica was asking me something, but I could hear nothing. All I could look at was that email from Janet, my breeder. Something’s happened to Mac.
As I read the email, I felt really cold. Mac had been raspy for a couple of days, and the Vet had said she will be fine. But it seemed that he was wrong, and Mac had passed away in the middle of the night. Janet found her in the morning on the cage floor. Janet had written more, but that was all I could get out of the email. Mac is dead. My little birdie whom I have waited for weeks to bring home next week, was gone.
We’ve only seen her once, on March 20, to pick one green cheeked conure out of a clutch of five. We chose Mac not because of anything special, but because she was the youngest and her coming home coincides really well with our moving. Parrots are sold weaned, and so I’d have to wait till they are about 8 to 10 weeks before I can bring Mac home. In the weeks that followed, Janet sent me pictures of Mac, and it was so heart-warming to see her lose her baby feathers, and getting her new plumage. Choosing a name, watching her grow, buying a playpen and toys for her, all this had felt very real. We felt like we know her, and she was our little baby. I didn’t even know she was a Girl until a week ago, when she was DNA sexed. It didn’t matter to me whether my parrot’s a girl or a boy, but it was nice to know.
We have decided to take Clover, who is Mac’s older brother. Clover actually belonged to Janet - she had kept one baby as a pet, but she told me that they actually decided a few days ago that they didn’t really have the space for another parrot. If Janet hadn’t kept one from the beginning, I might not have the chance to get a parrot from this clutch. It’s quite significant for me, since I’d come to know the other owners of Mac anc Clover’s siblings, so it will be a great experience to see our fids grow up together.
I guess I’m beginning to accept it now. It’s hard. But today’s a new day. Life goes on. We will love Clover as much as we would have loved Mac. Goodbye Mac, our little birdie girl.